A Tribute to My Mother

January 4, 2007

It is now 25 years since my mother left this world.  This is something that I rarely talk or write about.  Mostly because I consider my loss and grief a personal matter.  However, I feel it is important that I share a few reminisces and memories of her.

Of course, I remember her first and foremost as a loving mother who brought me into this world, took care of me and my siblings, nurtured me and gave me so much of who I am.  She was a talented homemaker and cook – in another time and place she could have been a Martha Stewart as she was one of the first women in Iran to have a cooking show on TV.   She also loved to play the piano and sing – something that she did not manage to pursue as much as she wanted to.  She was very dedicated to her family including her extended family.  I remember how devastated she was when she lost her mother, my grandmother, to whom she was so close.

One of her regrets in life was that she never managed to obtain a good education.  Having married at 16 and becoming a mother when my sister was born when she was only 17, she did not even manage to complete high school.   However, this did not stop her from reading, learning and educating herself and become extremely wise and learned.

Another regret she had was she did not leave Iran to go pioneering when she could.  Years later, when she did have a chance to remain in the US after my sister’s wedding, she chose to go back to Iran to help defend and protect the Baha’i community there.  A joy and pride in her life was attending various Baha’i conferences including the First Baha’i World Congress in London in 1963 as well as Baha’i conferences in Anchorage, Paris and Bahia, Brazil.

Beyond anything, as her ultimate sacrifice proved, she was dedicated to her Faith and her Lord.  As much as she loved life and being with her family, she chose to die rather than betray her Faith. 

Some of the qualities and attributes I remember about her include:

·         Courage – Time and again, she displayed courage in spite of difficulties and challenges.  I remember the time when she wrote us about an incident after the revolution.  A number of individuals had managed to steal printing materials and membership lists belonging to the Baha’i community and were publishing and distributing items supposedly put out by the Baha’i community but full of lies and non-sense.  She happened to come across individuals who were distributing this material in our neighborhood.  She cleverly and courageously managed to track them down and notify the authorities which eventually led to the recovery of the printing materials and lists.  I have heard anecdotes and stories from her short time in prison where she displayed the same courage and steadfastness.

·         Service – She was committed to serving her fellow human beings and the Baha’is community.  Growing up, I remember going with her to Baha’i meetings.  Often, we would be the first there and the last who would leave.  As a representative of the Baha’i institutions, she would frequently visit the friends in Tehran and beyond to check up on them.  One of my fondest memories are of a trip she and I took to Yazd the summer before I left Iran.  We went to this small city in Iran to visit and encourage the Baha’i friends.  We had the bounty of staying at the Baha’i Center and spending a few wonderful days visiting with the friends in town and nearby villages.

·         Humor  & Wisdom – The last letter she wrote me which was mailed the day she was arrested is full of wisdom, encouragement, love and humor.  She told us about how the children in schools are exercising by moving doing stretches to the tune of political slogans and suggested that we try the same exercise regimen!  In this same letter, she told us that she is hosting the members of the Assembly of Tehran for a meeting later in the day.  She must have had a premonition of what might happen.  As a postfix in the letter, she gave my brother and I advice about selecting a wife and what she would expect us to do if it happens that she is not around when we do so.

·         Transformation – Over the last two years of her life when she was in Iran, her life circumstances changed dramatically.  My siblings and I had left Iran and my parents were empty-nesters.  Her grandparents had also passed on.  Subsequent to the revolution and the persecution that followed by the Baha’is of Iran, along with the difficulties of living in state of war during the Iran-Iraq war, she set on a path of transformation.  She wrote us about reading and memorizing the Baha’i Writings and continually encouraged us to do the same.  She held devotional and prayer meetings – often in very difficult circumstances due to the persecution and the war.  She also continually wrote us and encouraged us to remain focused on our responsibilities – particularly towards the Faith.

Of course, I will always remember my mother with fondness and wonderful memories.  My only hope and desire is that I can manage to make her proud and that she looks upon me with approval and continues to bless me and my family in this world.

Merat